Esther 1 · a question people ask
Is "every man should rule his own house" (1:22) a command from God?
Not in this chapter. It is the king's letter, sent on Memucan's advice: "This advice pleased the king and the princes, and the king did according to the word of Memucan" (1:21), "for he sent letters into all the king’s provinces" (1:22). The reason given for it is Memucan's own: that the queen's deed "will become known to all women, causing them to show contempt for their husbands" (1:17), and that when the decree is published "all the wives will give their husbands honor, both great and small" (1:20). The book of Esther never names God (see the introduction), and this decree isn't presented as his word. Esther tells what the king decided without saying whether it was wise or right, and this study doesn't add a verdict either way.
The verses
“For this deed of the queen will become known to all women, causing them to show contempt for their husbands when it is reported, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she didn’t come.’”
“When the king’s decree which he shall make is published throughout all his kingdom (for it is great), all the wives will give their husbands honor, both great and small.” This advice pleased the king and the princes, and the king did according to the word of Memucan: for he sent letters into all the king’s provinces, into every province according to its writing, and to every people in their language, that every man should rule his own house, speaking in the language of his own people.”